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Interview with Darren Hayes (Part 2)

Arjanwrites_darren_hayes

In this second part of my interview with Darren Hayes, the singer talks about homosexuality in Hollywood, his unhappy childhood and the end of Savage Garden. (Read Part One here.)

Do you think your gay fans relate to the feelings of isolation and insecurity that you often express in your music?

That's a good question. I think I'm an outsider and never really related to the mainstream. I think a lot of my fans have experienced pain in some way. A lot of my gay fans write me about the painful struggles they go through. I really try in my songwriting to be ambiguous so a lot of people can relate to it. I know what it is like to be an outsider.

But I think gay culture is changing anyway. I think I can call it the Hollywood-ization of gay culture. I'm friends with Ellen DeGeneres, and around the time she broke up with Anne Heche she was devastated. She was considered an outcast. It was horrific what she went through and what the media did to her. It was almost a legitimate form of discrimination what they did to her. It was like she was punished because she was gay.  And if you look at Hollywood today, she is back on TV and probably more successful than she has ever been.

And I wonder about that. A lot has changed in a short time to have made things easier for gay people. I've lived in cities that are very diverse and sexuality is not an issue. But in a global sense, gays still feel like an outsider.

(More from the interview after the jump.)

I think in the end that's why gay people really respect people who are a rebel and an outcast. That's how I felt all my life. I grew up in a middle-class neigborhood, living in a trailer and our family had all sorts of social problems. I had an alcoholic father who was very violent. I was beaten up, and the first few years of high school were horrific for me because I was picked on just because I was artistic and sensitive. And you know what? There's something really fantastic about succeeding as a freak! I hope that inspires people.

I just don't understand discrimination. And I cannot understand the controversy surrounding gay marriage. I was invited to Elton John's wedding. It was so emotional and so touching, and they spoke a lot about human rights. His wedding legitimized so many gay relationships all around the world that are probably more monogamous than a lot of heterosexual marriages. What is there to be ashamed of? People tend to be afraid of things that are different. Take for example religion and Scientology. People are afraid of that because it is different. I think it is changing and hope it will change. Love is love.

Was one of the reasons to move on from Savage Garden to be more expressive as a solo artist?
No. I didn't want Savage Garden to end at the time. Daniel wanted out and I was devastated by it. He actually left the band in spirit a week before "Affirmation" was released. I was very selfish at the time thinking about what his decision meant for me, but now I really respect him for having the courage to walk away from something so successful.

For a long time I resented him. It felt like I was left to pick up all the pieces. I spent a year doing all the promos on my own, and when we finally broke up I was blamed for it. But I really love him, and I have more compassion for him than I've ever had. He just worked out a lot of things about the music industry that I worked out only recently. But we don't speak anymore.

February 20, 2006 in Darren Hayes, GLBT Artists, Interviews | Permalink

Comments

Great Interview so far

Thanks

xxAnne

Posted by: Anne at Feb 20, 2006 9:55:49 PM

Awesome. On both ends. Thank you Arjan. I can't wait to read tomorrow's installment. :)

Posted by: Mia at Feb 20, 2006 9:58:37 PM

Thanks a bunch Arjan. You really have done a marvelous job thusfar! :)
Hugs,
Dawn

Posted by: Dawn at Feb 20, 2006 10:28:10 PM

I have been waiting all day for the second part of the interview to be posted. Thanks, Arjan. Great questions and I was very very moved reading this part of the conversation.

Posted by: Tamara at Feb 20, 2006 11:00:07 PM

Well...Anything I could say after that would be superfluous. So I'll let Darren do the talking. :) Thank you Arjan. You've got me hooked.

Posted by: cat at Feb 20, 2006 11:00:54 PM

Very moving conversation, Can't wait to read more! Not too many artist speak from the heart like this...It is so amazing. Keep it up:)

Posted by: Mollie at Feb 20, 2006 11:27:13 PM

So far one of the best and frank interviews I've read with Darren. It is a pity that Daniel and him no longer speak.

On the upside... good news for us freaks!

-Nel

Posted by: Nelson Clemente at Feb 21, 2006 1:03:21 AM

"i'm good friends with Ellen Degeneres..."

Sorry. but- what a liar he is.

Utter bullshit. Big talk, dreadful "music". Don't believe a word he says.

Posted by: Desch at Feb 21, 2006 1:24:13 AM

Also note: he's endorsing Scientology, an abusive cult; his friend from "Savage" no longer speaks to him; he loves the attention from gay fans but considers himself too cool to ever say he's gay.

Closeted jerk is what he is, and he's the one saying Pet Shop Boys are "boring".

Naw, this closeted jerk is the one who's boring.
And embarassing for gay people: he won't admit to being a fag but he will definitelty take gay people's money.

I reeally dislike him, he thinks people really give a shit about his sexuality. But no one does, really.
It makes his coy denials even more pathetic. All those fans writing here, "NO! Don't ask him about his personal life!!" are rotten .

WHY SHOULDN'T we ask flaming Darren what we all know? WHY is is such a shameful secret?

Arjan is a respectful interviewer, and I wouldn't expect him to ask. I just reflect upon the weird hatefest that descended when I mentioned that talentless (imho) Darren hayes declared that Pet Shop Boys were "Boring".

Yes, he did say that- look it up.

Hypocrisy really sucks- Darren is gay but he pretends that the world cares. So he poses as straight to make a buck. Except no one's buying.

Posted by: Desch at Feb 21, 2006 1:42:14 AM

Thank for that interview. Darren you are wonderful and we all love you. You have very loyal fans and we can't wait for the next ones!!!

Posted by: sally at Feb 21, 2006 2:35:37 AM

I loved it thanks so much, very interesting, and sad that he and daniel dont speak anymore, i thought he always maintained they spoke occasionally.

Posted by: Georgina at Feb 21, 2006 2:47:59 AM

oi Desch, fuck off and get a life

Posted by: at Feb 21, 2006 4:06:50 AM

Been looking forward to Part 2 of this interview and you haven't disappointed, Arjan. A lovely interview with a lovely man. Looking forward to reading the rest of the interview

Posted by: Joyce at Feb 21, 2006 4:20:40 AM

Actually Darren Hayes is a huge Pet Shop Boys fan. And he's not a scientologist for God's sake!
Get a life dude!

Posted by: confuzled at Feb 21, 2006 5:49:19 AM

desh and nelson you've nothing good to say about darren so keep your bs to yourselves

Posted by: at Feb 21, 2006 6:04:26 AM

It is not easy to talk about us...and about our ghosts..bad memories and fears...usually we hide the truth inside of us because does not have the courage to say it loud...so thank you Darren for your honesty and bravery!You have a beautiful soul!

Posted by: Joana at Feb 21, 2006 10:04:17 AM

Wow, I never knew Darren had that hard of a childhood. I got teary a little. I love Darren's music. It has helped me through so much in my own life.
To all of you who are so negative about him why don't you just shut up. To be so cold to someone who is actually trying to be a good person in such a harsh industry is low, why can't a celebrity be a good person??
And to you Nelson, if you don't like his music then why are you here reading about him? Just a pathetic excuse to put someone down who helps others to make yourself feel better? All you bully's are the same, scared little people who must hurt others to feel better about your sad existence. You lack the ability of compassion and obviously the love of life. Using profanity rather than intelligence to dispute a person and their way of life. Beating down emotionally those of us who love Darren and his music. Maybe you should take a better listen to his music it may help you and your hurtful attitude.

Posted by: Tonya at Feb 21, 2006 11:05:26 AM

Sorry, I forgot Desch. I mean you as well. Bully!

Posted by: Tonya at Feb 21, 2006 11:10:12 AM

I loved that article.
Can't believe you've got him to open up so much!

cool

Posted by: neo at Feb 21, 2006 12:09:42 PM

I've really enjoyed this interview, so far, and have taken some time to read back through other writings of yours... good stuff :)

Posted by: Laurie at Feb 21, 2006 12:26:32 PM

Thanks for the interesting interview...looking forward to the rest.

Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion...but I feel the need to clarify something. Darren did not endorse Scientology...he said "take religion and Scientology..." using it as an example...not an endorsement. He could have just as easily mentioned Kabbalah, Islam, etc. ALL religions could be easily referred to as "a cult" if you think about it. Anyway...I think the original meaning behind the topic was "discrimination" -- something that applies to all people because of how they look, who they love, what God they believe in, and even what music they like. So Darren may have dissed the Pet Shop Boys at one time...is that really a big deal in the grand scheme of things? An entire Phillipine village gets wiped out by a mudslide and someone is complaining about Darren's OPINION on a band? I suppose it's all relative to what you FEEL is important.

Posted by: KL at Feb 21, 2006 3:06:52 PM

very read so far. whoever that Desch person is, needs to get a life and fast. the way i see it, if Darren is gay, bi, straight, he should be respected and given the same right to his privacy as everyone wants and deserves. seems as tho alot of gay ppl are unhappy with the fact that Darren is admitting he" bats for their team" and it really does not matter if he does or not. doesnt change him as a human being. whoever is so concerned about his sexuality over his music need to find something else to do with your time and stop dwelling on it.
very good interview so far.

Posted by: Dazzy at Feb 21, 2006 3:47:07 PM

What a really good interview with a great artist!!!
shame some people have to post completely negative comments about Darren's sexuality.

Posted by: tony c at Feb 21, 2006 4:26:15 PM

Arjan, thank you for a great interview. You've asked some really thought-provoking questions. And Darren, thank you for answering so honestly, and bravely, as you have touched on issues in your life that must be painful to talk about. You have my respect always.

Posted by: Sue at Feb 21, 2006 4:41:16 PM

Thank you so much for the interviews! Once I start reading, I can't stop. I read the first one on my birthday...what a great present lol.

Posted by: luvbird at Feb 21, 2006 5:01:36 PM

And another thing, Desch,if you really believe that Darren is such a horrible person, why did you read all of this in the first place? He never said that he was gay and it is his personal life and people do want to respect that. And if you can't, take your bs and go somewhere else.

Posted by: luvbird at Feb 21, 2006 5:07:39 PM

Very beautiful interview, thanks Darren for sharing his personal experience with us. And yes, you example does make a difference in many poeple's lives! It made it in mine anyway
Lots of love
Izx

Posted by: Izzy at Feb 21, 2006 5:54:35 PM

Hi.

Thanks Darren for doing this interview and for being so open.We all love and support you in everything you do.

xxAnne from the FC

Posted by: Anne at Feb 21, 2006 7:02:03 PM

i think everybody knows darren is gay. however it is his business if he doesnt want to admit it. it doesnt mean he thinks he is too cool... unless you are gay you will never understand what it is like and nobody has to live darrens life but him so if you don't like it then tough tit! darren is a beautiful person and i honestly wish he could just admit who he is because i look up to him so much. as you can see he has had a very rough life so for anyone to call him a jerk for not wanting the whole world to know everything about him is a moron

Posted by: jimny at Feb 21, 2006 8:35:29 PM

If Darren were gay, why do we assume that just because he's not 'out' he's not 'admitting it'?
Maybe he's out to his friends and family. Maybe he's 'in'. Maybe he's straight. The point is - why do we as a society make such a big deal of it?
Great great interview Arjan! Congratulations.

Posted by: seether at Feb 21, 2006 9:13:17 PM

Hi

I think myself-The comments about his sexuality and private life should not be discussed here.Both of them are Darren's business and should remain that way.It does not matter to me anyway.

Let's focus on the music and support Darren like we do.

xAnne

Posted by: Anne at Feb 21, 2006 9:24:51 PM

Tonya and Anonymous...

What part of my comment was negative?

I happen to be a huge fan of Darren and his work.

-Nel

Posted by: Nelson Clemente at Feb 21, 2006 9:26:38 PM

No matter what, people are always going to have something to say about someone else... It's hard trying to live in this world and be an individual because of others always trying to break you down. I say be who you want and FUCK everyone who doesn't like it!

Posted by: Mollie at Feb 21, 2006 9:54:42 PM

I've just realised that the "Posted by..." footers are so close to the preceding posts it is easy to mistake who commented. I just happened to be in the firing line.

It has certainly put a laugh in my day!

-Nel :)

Posted by: Nelson Clemente at Feb 22, 2006 1:15:12 AM

Where's part three?

Posted by: at Feb 22, 2006 9:58:20 AM

leave darren and his sexuality alone gay or straight it doesnt matter he gives us such good music it shouldnt be an issue to anyone including non-fans he knows where hes at and thats all that matters!! great interview tho xxx

Posted by: Roz at Feb 22, 2006 12:21:31 PM

"No matter what, people are always going to have something to say about someone else... It's hard trying to live in this world and be an individual because of others always trying to break you down. I say be who you want and FUCK everyone who doesn't like it!"

I quite agree!

Posted by: Laurie at Feb 22, 2006 3:06:43 PM

Sorry, I mis-read the names after the comments. My apologys Nelson. But I do know I got that Decsh person right.

Posted by: Tonya at Feb 22, 2006 8:03:27 PM

Feeling a wee bit confused, isn't there a third part? I am I just loosing it finally? Can all my family and friends be right? If someone knows if there is a third part that would be super. Thanks.

Posted by: Tonya at Feb 22, 2006 8:07:26 PM

There are supposed to be four parts. Can't wait to read the rest.

And as far as the Scientology comment Desch, if you are familiar with Darren at all and if you had and completely understood the article.... I believe he was trying to say people should be more tolerant of other peoples sexuality and religious beliefs. Don't be so afraid of the unknown. Be tolerant instead of judgemental. It's not our job here on Earth to judge..

Live in kindness.

Posted by: Dawn at Feb 22, 2006 9:19:58 PM

I love that your doing these interviews!!! Great. Can't wait to read more. And I think it is sad that some of you are so worried about certain things (you know what I am talking about) Darren is an amazing person, and he will always be no matter what he is. So quit spinning on it, it is trivial and does not really matter. And if you have negative comments, we fans don't care what you have to say, we love Darren no matter what, so go whine to someone else. Hooray for the interviews!! Love them! :)

Posted by: E.J. at Feb 22, 2006 10:01:36 PM

Here Here!

Posted by: Mollie at Feb 23, 2006 2:40:21 AM

It's sad to read that the possibility of Darren Hyaes being gay is a 'negative comment'.
__________________________
I love that your doing these interviews!!! Great. Can't wait to read more. And I think it is sad that some of you are so worried about certain things (you know what I am talking about) Darren is an amazing person, and he will always be no matter what he is. So quit spinning on it, it is trivial and does not really matter. And if you have negative comments, we fans don't care what you have to say, we love Darren no matter what, so go whine to someone else. Hooray for the interviews!! Love them! :)

Posted by: E.J. at Feb 22, 2006 10:01:36 PM

Posted by: at Feb 23, 2006 6:50:36 AM

What is he afraid of? that no one will love him anymore why should he care if the people who really matter in his life love, respect and care for him no matter what

Posted by: Emily at Feb 23, 2006 7:41:25 AM

I have thought very highly of Darren ever since the Savage Garden days and every time I have seen him in videos and interviews he seems like a warm, loving, and genuine person. This interview is no different.

As for the religion and scientology comment...I may be reading it wrong, but I think he may have been using religion and scientology as an example of "people" who have a problem with things that are different, saying that those in religion and scientology have a problem with different kinds of love. Again, I may have been reading it wrong, but just another way of looking at it....if it matters.

Posted by: Bob at Feb 23, 2006 11:58:09 AM

I wasn't going to comment anymore on this but. In my humble opinion, sexuality is such a deeply personal thing, I think it is up to each individual to decide how much they are willing to share. I completely support and respect those celebrities, ect who are out, and I do think that's important. I also respect the decision to not discuss it, because it really isn't anybody's business except for the person you are with. I believe that Darren has said he doesn't want to be put in a box sexually, which I can understand. Gay, straight, or bisexual he shouldn't have to broadcast his sexual preference anymore than any one else should.. maybe it's not a matter of feeling the need to hide , maybe it's just simply wanting to keep what has the right to be private just that.I think the most important things is that he clearly is compassionate and respect others for how they are regardless. I couldn't agree more.. love is love and we are all human beings worthy of diginity and respect.

Posted by: Tamara at Feb 23, 2006 5:19:10 PM

sorry, I meant to say who they are, not how they are.. and another thing. I think it's interesting that some people are so sure they know what his sexual orientation is... hmmm

Posted by: Tamara at Feb 23, 2006 5:25:13 PM

Funny how this whole "it's not anybody's business" thing only concernes gay people and never straight people. We might never find out who is a spouse of a very 'private' straight celebrity, we might not know what their kids look like if they don't want to share and it's really not anybody's business, but we always ALWAYS know the spouses and children exist. They reveal they are heterosexual in everything they do, yet they manage to stay 'private' and not reveal too much if they want. But it's all different for gay people cause suddenly it's "not anybody's business". Like anyone ask them to reveal person they are with or tell about any other private details. Life IS NOT fair and there's just no equality in people's mind. It is still a thing to hide no matter what you say, unless you are brave, crazy or have been outed. That's sad!

Posted by: Kris at Feb 23, 2006 5:34:17 PM

Nice interview.. not much I haven't heard him say before, but still good. And yeah, a lot of people are 'sure' he is gay. I really doubt that. Maybe bi, but I don't care either way. I don't think posting 'negative' comments is wrong to do all the time. (Though a whole post putting Darren down for some things that weren't even really said in the interview is too much.) Being positive all the time isn't realistic and even fans don't have to agree with everything Darren says or does just because Darren says it. I have read various interview where Darren has said one thing and in another something completely different. (same goes for another artist I love) Sometimes seemingly contradictory statements might just be refering to different things. Like, just purely for example: I wanted to be famous. I didn't want to be famous. First interview he may have been refering to wanting to be liked etc. while second interview was refering to not wanting to be on the cover of magazines and getting gossiped about. Our views all change too. --skitten

Posted by: Skit at Feb 23, 2006 6:38:26 PM

I am a huge fan of Darren Hayes and truely respect and admire him. Even though I may not agree with him on some things, I still respect him as a person, a humanbeing and admire his talent: songwriting; honest lyrics, a reflection of an honest man. I think it is a shame that for some, they would get hung up on his sexuality: something that if he wants kept personal, HELLO !! it should be kept personal !! Just because most of his songs are about relationships and break ups doesn't give us the right to go prying around in his personal life, even if it might be autobiographical. What it means to be a true songwriter, is taking your (personal) life experiances, however painful or beautiful and put them down on paper for song, for all to benifit from. We can relate to Darren's music because he has gone through what all of us, at one time or another, have gone through. Yes, like others, I want to know more of this unique, incredible, and amazing man; but he is a celebrity (whether he wants to admit it or not) and a pop star and I am only a college student, who can only learn about him through great interviews like this one (kudos to ArJan writes). Darren Hayes is an inspiration to me, and that alone says something, only one other 'celebrity' holds that special place in my world and heart.
I wish Darren all the Best this year and pray he succeeds at whatever he puts his mind and heart to.
Darren, I want to thank-you for being the BEAUTIFUL person (inside and out) that you are. Thank-you for actually caring and putting heart, soul, and spirit in your work. And most of all for bearing yourself to all (of us) who 'believe in karma, what you give is what you get in return' and all who want 'to feel amazing'. Thanks for giving your all.


darrensangel

Posted by: darrensangel at Feb 23, 2006 10:55:08 PM

Do you think maybe the other parts to the interview has been put on hold due to the uproar of the second parts content? Maybe Darren and Arjan don't want to put the rest out there due to the content of the posts.
I hope that isn't the case, but I think that we all can at least agree on one thing, Darren is a great artist and clearly we will defend him from anyother person who wants to bash him, It seems to be that there shouldn't be anymore Darren bashing going on here.

Posted by: Tonya at Feb 24, 2006 11:05:11 AM

Okay I really wanted to read through all the comments before posting mine. But I couldn't. This interview is great. I'm going on to part three now.

xx

Posted by: Natalie at Feb 27, 2006 11:10:18 PM

sorry but darren is not gay he's just a little crazy man and i am fond of him. his voice his body all is perfect about him. i met him and i'm sure about what i said.
darren you're the best!

Posted by: darren fan at Apr 13, 2006 9:15:37 AM

I love darren's music, and i hope for him all the best and we'll waiting the next album ..... Good Luck

Posted by: Khaled at Apr 14, 2006 10:12:58 AM

Thank you for the interview, it was really great. It pleases me to see that Darren is so tolerant and compassionate of people that are different. I wish that I could meet him. He's coming to Australia in June, but I'm in Melbourne and his concert's in Sydney. Oh well, maybe I'll go to Sydney :P.

Darren, if you're reading this, I would like you to know that you are the model of sensitivity and emotion. You music makes me cry. Who ever is loved by you is lucky, and your family and friends are blessed to know such a wonderful person. We all love you. :)

Posted by: Dima at May 26, 2006 4:30:30 AM

Seems desch was right all along eh?
He IS a faggot.

Posted by: der at Jul 18, 2006 1:23:58 PM

your the faggot would you like it if everyone thought you were gay and they called you a faggot what he does in his life is his choice and hes made it he is megga cute so i wouldnt be suprised if a nother guy didnt want to kiss him he is a fantastic singer i have all his cd's posters and just recently went to his concert it was so awsome so dont judge people u woulnt like to get judged

thanks for reading my appinion

Posted by: jessica b at Sep 9, 2006 2:07:47 AM

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